unsexy design

April 04, 2007

close encounters of the douche bag kind

This morning I had a real delight, I got to witness a fine example of total and utter douche baggery. Here is how it went down -

The train came into South Attleboro this morning and normally you see the same people every day - the usuals, if you will. Well as the train is slowing down this guy was peeking out of the door. I never saw this guy before, he was dressed in a blue pinstripe suit and he had blond shorter highlighted hair and the overall first impression of him when I saw him was - douche. He screamed it without saying a word. When the train was almost stopped but still going at a considerable pace he jumped off. You know, kinda like the train conductors do, except they are smart enough to know that the train was going too fast still to jump off at the point which he did. Never mind all the practice they must get in a day. As he jumped off the train with brief case in hand he took a grad A - class act spill. He looked like a total idiot. He obviously underestimated the amount of steps he would have to take to regain his balance quickly enough while getting off the train. It was the type of fall that he was actually rolling uncontrollably from the momentum of the fall. He rolled so quite uncontrollably in fact that he started to roll back toward the train with his legs flailing way too close to the underneath. What struck me as odd and what made him seem like even more of a douche was that his briefcase was old school style and crappy looking and he had it attached to a matching navy blue shoe string that wrapped around his wrist. Upon closer inspection his suit didn't look fantastic either. He picked himself up, brushed off, laughed - said he was OK (not that either I or the guy next to me had asked) and ran off.

Now, here I am trying as hard as hell to not laugh out loud. Then thinking to myself as I got on the train - wouldn't that have been something if his foot did get caught under the train, though maybe that would have been a bit messy. Not to mention that I would have then had to dutifully call 911. Because at that point stepping over him, careful not to slip in any possible pools of blood, and laughing quietly to myself would probably not have been a viable option.

Moral of the story - it doesn't pay to look cool jumping off a train and that no matter what you still look like a fucking douche bag.

Labels: commute, douche bag, morning delights

Posted by shannoxx :: 4/04/2007 06:55:00 AM :: 0 Comments:

December 19, 2006

oblivious

I finished Something Blue! AMAZING! I figured why break the trend so now I am reading Wicked. I heard so many good things about it.
Funny little story:
I was reading my book on the train this morning when the train conductor approached me and asked if I like the book so far (btw I am only like 3 chapters in). I stated that I did and we had exchanged a few thoughts on the book... a solid 3-4 minute conversation. Then he asks "Do you take this train often" I said yes and he then indicated that he would check in with me again. Not until after while I was walking to work did it hit me, "do you take this train often" sounds like one of those funny classic cheesy pick up lines! Then it occurred to me that maybe he was hitting on me? I mean I was my usual over smiley self and he was rather young (not like the old hardened or overweight conductors you see) and relatively attractive (but SO not my type) and quite smiley himself. You have to bear in mind people, that I - in all honesty - have never really been "hit on", I mean I talk to guys but if they were hitting on me I was COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS to it.

Labels: cheesy pick up lines, commute, reading

Posted by shannoxx :: 12/19/2006 01:25:00 PM :: 0 Comments: